Singlehood and BBQ

Unit event today! Started the day by going shopping with Mark and Peishan. We met at Carrefour as we think we should be able to get everything we need in one shot. However, although the store is very big and has alot of things on display, we had a hard time finding bbq items. They are all placed so far apart from each other!! We had to walk the whole of the 2 floors to get everything!!

We then proceeded to the bbq venue in Dover. After putting some stuff into Grace's house (the host of the bbq venue), we went down to the ktv room of the condo's clubhouse. When most people had arrived, our dear CL started by describing his own experiences of pursuing his life partner (did i mentioned we have a 3-part series of singlehood and what we should look out for when finding our life partner). He described how he started searching for love from a girl, and didn't have it. And how he only found it after he started to search for love from God and to start serving Him. I remember one thing that he said Tze Yee, his wife, asked him, "Are you a Godly man? Godly men make good husbands!" I guess it goes the other way round too!! I would want a Godly woman also, cos a Godly woman will have or strive to have a Christ-like character!

We then went on to watch a video by Joshua Harris, the author of "I kiss Dating Goodbye". Although I haven't read the book, from what I heard, I think I'll agree with what it says. In the video, he talks abt obedience to God, abt patience and waiting for God's timing, as well as faith in God to give us the best if we wait for him. One example I remember from the video is abt marshmallow (we're going to have that during the bbq.. hehe).

There is this scientist who did an experiment. He assembled a group of kids, and gave them a marshmallow each. Then he told them that he's going out for a while, and that if they wait for him to come back, he'll give them 1 more marshmallow. The kids had different response to the instructions. Some never even wait for him to go out before popping the marshmallow into their mouth. Some covered their eyes, some looked at the ceiling, trying ways and means to avoid being tempted. Those that were able to restrain themselves got their 2nd marshmallow when the scientist came back. After this experiment, these kids were monitored as they grew up. Those who had been patient during the experiment were more successful as a person. They were better in studies, as well as emotions. Those that didn't wait to pop that marshmallow into their mouth turn out to be more emotionally unstable, and their studies were not good also.

This story is telling us that the kids who waited had faith in the scientist and were rewarded in the end. In the same way, we should wait for God's timing, to have faith in him, and we will be rewarded in the end. What I learned was also that God will know when is the right time for me to meet my future spouse, when I've been well-trained in terms of character. Also, having a closer relationship with God will make me a more stable, dependable person.

After the video, we were split into 2 groups, the all-guys and all-girls team. We were to list out things we look out for when looking for a spouse. We were also told to list out what we think the other gender will look out for in a spouse. What I can say abt the list the guys wrote is that 80-90% was written by Andrew. hahaha.. (see Tiger for the list. Things like "must have artistic appreciation", I dun expect, cos I dun do that also.. haha. Its good to see Andrew so enthusiastic though :D). The girls were shocked when they saw the list of the guys' expectations. I don't blame them, cos I will be shocked if I were them also.. haha. The list of what we think the girls want in a guy however, were quite accurate in terms of matching what the girls listed. (cos contributed more evenly by the guys.. collective wisdom). Now if I were to have my own list...
- Kind (kind to people around)
- Honest (honest but not cruel, and certainly not sacarstic, related to kind and positive)
- Sporting (willing to try stuff like sports, games, even jokes which seem to make fun of her)
- Intellectually Stimulating (must have, else will become silent companionship liao)
- Has a sense of humour (Understood, no comments)
- Positive thinking (too much negative feelings can affect me, positive thinking can motivate me)
- Patience (important.. cos I'm slow.. hahaha)
- I'll be a hypocrite if I don't mention pleasant-looking girl. But I believe that a good character makes a girl more and more beautiful.
- did I mention Christ-like? haha.. if can be Christ-like, then all of the above and more loh. So, in conclusion, Godly woman will be good. hehe

In retrospect of the exercise, I also need to reflect whether I'm good enough for my future spouse. I believe I need to seek God, and his ways more so that I will be worthy.

Just when things were getting more interesting in the discussion (Battle of the Sexes), we had to clear the room and proceed to the bbq. We had a hard time starting the fire, but after much effort, we got a fire so hot, it hurts just trying to bbq marshmallows. Pris showed us a wonderful bbq dessert, by cutting a trench along a banana, with its skin still on, and stuffing chocolate and marshmallow in it. She then proceeded to wrap it in aluminum foil and bbq it (think its 9 mins). I had doubts abt how it'll taste like, but it turned out to be fabulous! (well done again Chef Pris).

Pris, Irving, Merv, Chang Shiung and me left early to catch a movie. We went to Ink's place first for a rest, and then together with Tze Yee, watched "Mr and Mrs Smith". It was quite a comical show, and I enjoyed the clumsiness of Brad Pitt, and the precision of the Mrs Smith (dun know her name). What I learned from the movie is that keeping secrets from each other in a marriage is very damaging. It can even lead to the couple trying to kill each other!!! hahaha